electric boots, a mohair suit..

So, I'm home for the summer. Home, in Maryland. MAN, this place BLOWS. There's nothing to do but get up really early and watch Saved By The Bell clips on the internet while eating pop tarts in bed all morning. Fuck it, all day.

Let's see, my personal life. I'm driving up to NJ this weekend to hang out with Lisa, and hopefully swim in her baller pool and drive around in her huge vehicle listening to "Bennie & the Jets" on repeat until my face just disintegrates into a mound of periwinkle sparkles, which I presume Lisa will subsequently snort off her center consul before hightailing it to the nearest Sonic. No really, though. We should find a Sonic; I hear they've revived the roller skates. That, or they just never left, although I'm pretty sure they did because I went to a Sonic, like, over ten years ago with my grandparents when I visited them at their retirement community in South Carolina, and I don't recall any roller skates. Then again, I may have just been blinded by the fact that I was getting the fuck out of there, as this trip to Sonic happened to take place en route to the Savannah airport, after a week of various attempts at submission to the over-sixty lifestyle, all which ultimately failed to distract me from the unavoidable : "Does God exist?" Shudder. Good times, man.

So yeah, after riding low in Lisa's truck for awhile, we'll probably hoof it over to Joey's, where we'll spend an entire day just watching classic 1970s pornography and painting landscapes on other's faces with our toes in his movie theatre. What, do I think we live in LA or something? Speaking of soon-to-be LA trash, it's Brigid's birthday. Everyone, once my parents finish the "architectural detail" (pool), you're all invited south of the Mason/Dixon for cake and group sex and magic shows and big bowls of Doritos and all the usual elements of debauchery. Brigid, this is for you:

As for today, I'll probably (once finished with aforementioned SBTB/pop tarts debacle), get around to stuffing my face with fish sticks and croutons, pretending I'm going to unpack, and sticking myself in front of the tv to wait for Bravo to air part two of the Real Housewives of New York: Reunion. For the rest of you, here is a picture from my last day in Edinburgh..

..a picture of me now..

..and a little something to pass the time before it's late enough in the day to start drinking without feeling guilty (3 pm):