Thursday 11 November 2010

Every precious human being's been a precious parent to you

Well my friends. The time has at last come for adios. I don't think I'm the same person I was when I started The Blog, and so it feels weird writing knowing about all the posts that precede me. All the posts. I'm having extreme difficulty reconciling my voice now with my past voice, or the way I view the The Blog now compared with how I used to, and these things I think, in turn, produce a sort of confusion that affects what confidence I have in how my voice has evolved. I used to think of The Blog as extremely private. I don't know why. Obviously it's not. I guess with blogs, there's a sort of private publicness at hand, which I don't know if I completely endorse without rigorous editorial standards. But I've almost completely stopped thinking of it as private. So what I'm saying is, not only do I not have the time to write posts anymore, but I don't know that I think of them the same way that I used to. I'm going to be embracing the fragmented self and kicking it on Tumblr for the time being, because it's fun and easy, and hopefully when I have more time on my hands I'll be collaborating with a friend on a new blog, a place for cohesive thoughts that Matter and are Important. Right now, I feel like I'm going absolutely mental, completely incapable of cohesion. But every time I come back here I feel as if I'm attending to some tumorous old version of myself, some reminder that this has all been linear, that I've been responsible, yes, me, and that I've transcended jack shit. I like to think that we transcend old versions of ourselves, and the internet allows us the illusion of this possibility. Although, lesbihonest, it'll just be more of the same shit, won't it?


I'd say it's been real, but this is the internet, and nothing is, and how liberating.

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