"But nights are long in winter, when darkness comes down at four o'clock and people have time to think of everything."

It's saturday night, and I'm so exhausted from relentless pot smoking that I've opted to just curl up into bed, where I can be tired and silent and useless in a place where nothing is expected of me. By body needs a break. My mind needs a break. I've far surpassed any amount of legitimate, intellectually stimulating marijuana usage. Now I'm just getting silly; silly and slow. You know it's time to take a break when you just don't feel cool anymore.

This week was really tiring, and frustrating at times. It's left me feeling very honest. I want to be as honest with others as I try to be with myself. It's just so much more work to put on an act, even if it is an unconscious one. Fuck it, fuck it all. I want to communicate with people who want to communicate back. Where do I find these communicators? To my good friends: you've spoiled me! I just need someone to take care of me for the next few days, until I stop feeling like such a vulnerable little deer that people keep mistaking for a bear. You know, someone to move into my room, make me tea and bring me good food when I'm hungry, make sure I write my English paper, spoon-feed me cough medicine to put me to sleep, read me stories about positive people doing positive things..

God, I need to get laid.